Always follow doctor’s advice
A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a checkup. A few days later the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
At his follow up visit the doctor said, “I see you’re really doing well, aren’t you?”
The man replied, “Just doing what you said doctor, ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful’.”
The doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said you’ve got a heart murmur. Be careful!”
Things You Don’t Want to Hear During Surgery
“Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness”
“Rusty! Rusty! Come back with that! Bad dog!”
“Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.”
“Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?”
“What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change?”